2005 Season Match Reports

A fine day as you say – a day on which we finally found a team that was exactly at our level, namely ourselves. All the usual Salix traits were there, from collapses at top and middle of orders, to comedy run-outs, and extremely unlikely wicket takers.

Captain's Day dawned a little overcast and a battle between Mr Kettley from the BBC (a fine and sunny day) and Francis from Sky (going to piss down). As ever the BBC were right.

After the prize giving the Captains tossed and Ginger won, electing to bat. The scenario: 20 overs then 15. Teams must have the batting order reversed between innings and retire on 30 (although the head of the Hordes seemed not to hear that rule...).

Only the mysterious non-arrival of Clarkster puzzled us for a microsecond, before we got on with giving away the trophies for this year.

Despite being exceptionally gloomy, but at least it didn’t rain. As per usual the hordes assembled to avail themselves of the Bison’s bowling machine, manhandled over the barbed wire fence with aplomb.

Despite the abysmal august weather and the Pakistani match fixing allegations which surfaced this very morning we managed to assemble 18 – mainly perambulatory – humans, one or two of whom were even not hung over.

Home to Tokaji, thermal baths and the birthplace of my wife, who had previously suggested that she wasn’t sure that the Magyars played croquet and if they did, it would probably only be Twenty20 croquet.

A fabulous tour across the weekend of 27/28 June 2015. In honour, really, of our 25th year, this was a return visit to one of our first touring venues, 18 years on!

No reports or scorecards seem to exist for the 2019 Captain’s Day but we do have this photo!

What is the collective name for consecutive shellackings? Is it a Salix? When reading last week’s match report did the team, on reading the first sentence, detect a note of disappointment in Elvis’s tone, and collectively think “OK, we didn’t quite deliver a proper shellacking, we’ll get it right next time.”

Our sainted founder Fletch reminded us before this season opener that Salix has been going for a third of a century now. For your correspondent it is but a mere 26th season which has seen transition from promise to has-been with mostly mediocrity in between, that now leads to requesting to open the umpiring rather than the batting.

Well what a week! England make it to the final of the Euros; England’s cricketers wish farewell to Jimmy with a resounding thrashing of the Windies (in 2 days and 1 session robbing the Day 4 ticket holders of their enjoyment but I’m not bitter) and yet… England lose consecutive Euros finals and Salix lose 10 in a row to the Whalers; twas ever thus…

The 2025 season began, as many have before, in the picturesque village of Islip – one of our longest-standing fixtures. Earlier in the week, temperatures had soared to 27°C, but in typical bank holiday fashion, they dropped sharply by match day. Half the team was found rummaging through cricket bags (likely untouched since last season) in search of as many layers as possible.

Rendezvous time was ten-to-twelve. Location. Sir Geoff’s house. Memorandum; Don’t Be Late. As I pulled up to Sir Geoff’s house for 11.50am, Chetan (nickname pending) was nowhere to be seen. At precisely 12pm, we decided to politely enquire as to the whereabouts of Mr Chetan Shetty.

And so we come again to the not infrequent occurrence of a Salix captain pacing the boundary, concern etched across his face, a gait familiar to those who have previously fouled their own underwear before the night has ended: the walk of a man who knows he may pick up the ultimate Salix accolade of presiding over the lowest team score in the club’s history.

Salix CC, after winning the toss, opted to bat first, but the decision proved challenging as they were restricted to a modest total of 139. Early breakthroughs from Gents CC’s bowlers set the tone for the innings, as the Salix batsmen struggled to build partnerships.

£70. Seventy British pounds. Seventy Pounds Sterling. It can buy you numerous things. For example; a few rounds on a boozy night out with your mates, lunch for 1 at many of London’s acclaimed Michelin Star Restaurants or as Salix CC found out for the second week in a row; a day’s hire of a council cricket pitch at Wandsworth Common.

These are strangely warm dry days in the formerly green and pleasant lands of England, during which we can be excused a certain amount of heat-induced hallucinations such as those team-mates prior to the game comparing the conditions to those in South Asia.

In a game of remarkable swings, Salix posted 258 before reducing Flamstead to 0 for 2 in the very first over, only for the Flamstead captain to single-handedly drag his side back into contention with a stunning century. It took the calm, clinical brilliance of CK — with the ball, in the field, and in the mind — to finally put the game to bed. A victory that will live long in the memory.

We won, coming back from behind against one of our biggest rivals, against all the odds. Inspiring future generations for years. That’s the Lionesses victory against Spain on penalties which we were able to watch from the pub after being annihilated against the Quokkas.

Salix entered its 34th season this weekend, which feels faintly ridiculous considering several members of today’s side have been around for almost all of them. Irwin started his 32nd Salix season, CK somehow reached his 25th Salix season game whilst still claiming to be “just helping out”.

A storming win in Oxford gets Salix its first win of the season.