1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths... More quotes here.

Our end of season dinner was held on 6 October 95. 

The booze cost £126 and the food £184.   Twas held at the Chesire Cheese Boozer on Fleet Street. Sadly only Fletch's speech and Marks intro were written down.  Here they are:

Fletchs Speech

I am very sorry not to be with the lads tonight on this very special occasion when we celebrate the successes of our wonderful new Captain's first year (can I go up the batting order a bit please Charlie)
It gives me great pleasure, as the original driving force behind the Touche team, to see it transformed from a bunch of useless layabouts with no clue at all about cricket to a bunch of, well, people who turn up.
Mark’s effort with the Touche social fund have not been in vain and we look forward to his renewed efforts to get us some stumps for next year.
For me, the highlight of the season was when Irwin called that bloke from the computer consultants a useless wanker and the guy tried to chin him. That was a good game for sure and cricket at this highest. Nice one Irwin.
I'd like to say I have a good excuse for not turning up, but as it only involves women and drink then I am sure you will have to make do with the fact that I just couldn't be bothered.
Happy currying and I look forward to our winter net practice with something approaching trepidation, especially if Tim gets me in the nuts with a fast ball again then I shall definitely be out for a curry next year!

And Rodders Summary:

1995, our best season ever? Won 8 Lost 1.
Now the bitter disappointment of our loss to FNB has faded somewhat, it is time to reflect on a great season. As the attached averages show we scored over 1200 runs (first ever season over 1000) at an average of 6.73 runs/ over; we conceded 1080 runs (sadly, not the first time over 1000) at an average of 5.59 runs/ over and every team member averaged over 24 runs every time they went out to bat.