1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths... More quotes here.

UK Tour  June 28/29 2003

Report : And so on tour again with Captain Bush

Pursuant to the normal cock up re start times, school sports day and the like we finally kicked off versus a rather depleted Chasers pub team at 4.30 on a glorious sunny afternoon at the Downs school pitch in downtown Colwall.  As the Chasers team had little knowledge that the match was going to take place and many were ensconced in the pub anyhow, the game was a touch one sided.  Sportingly the Chasers asked us to bat first and there came a contest to see who could get to 30 and retire the most reliably and quickly.

Front: Podge, Elvis Ginger, He Who must be Obeyed, Steve-O Middle Nurdler, The German, Clarkster, Bushy Back Mr M, Daveski

Everyone managed this task except yours truly and Bog Brush Spice (who whilst looking thinner and more agile was sadly without his checked tour trousers this year.)  The Chasers put up a good try, but if it hadn’t been for their man Mike who retired and came back to get the games highest score of 40, it could well have been Ireland versus the West Indies in 1969 all over again (The WI were bowled out on a soggy pitch for 25).

And so it was back to the Colwall Park Hotel for an early bath thence to the Crown boozer for food and traditional drinking games. Bunnies proved a clear favourite this year, with the thumbmaster falling sadly out of fashion.

Sunday dawned bight and clear and with the hot team of yours truly and Mr Rayner whacking Dumb Bunny and  our new star find Pete at Croquet, it was off on the long trek to Malmesbury and beyond, where we found a beautiful ground at Sherstone Magna and the lads of Crudwell CC.

Much talk about fast bowlers etc ensured and I have to say the Crudwellites looked pretty good as they unpacked their cars.  Mr Bush taking the Captaincy for both days elected to bat first and with the worlds largest boundary (when umpiring I took two buses, a tube and rickshaw to get to the crease) it looked a long haul.

Ginger and Mr Spillane however got us off to an excellent start, albeit slightly streaky in Gingers case, who then went on to his maiden half century. but the score ticked on and up. A bit of middle order collapse was stiffened by Messrs Dumb Bunny and Mr R and tea saw us sitting on 143 (well chairs really, but you get my drift).  Personally I thought 180 was a winning score, but as has often been proved I know nothing about anything.

Anyhow it was straight into the attack with Captain Bush and Mr J getting a quick breakthrough.  And then it was steady if not quite plain sailing.  Salix dropped a record 8 catches on the way to this win, but if my memory serves they were all pretty hard (well I dropped a sitter or two but then I am fat and old). 

And so we finished our tour triumphant. Two games, two wins. One pub, forty eight pints. And a half a stone less Clarkster thanks to the Atkins diet.  A special mention to the lovely Mrs R who braved the seething vat of testosterone that is Salix .  Man of the tour was Ginger who drove off clutching a large bottle of Bombay gin.  It had been a close thing between him and Dumb Bunny.

And now the London Nigerians. Enjoy the buzz lads, it won’t last

Salix CC versus Chasers at Colwall on 28-06-2003(25 Over Game)
Salix CC (batting first)226for 2off25overs Match Won
Chasers64for 9off14.5overs
NoPlayerScoreHow Out
1.Mike Ellis32Not Out
2.Dave Henig32Not Out
3.Andy Rayner30Not Out
4.Neil Clark8Run Out
5.Tony Fletcher7Caught
6.Paul Rogers34Not Out
7.Tom Maxson31Not Out
8.Andy Bush28Not Out
9.Dominic Spillane7Not Out
10.Steve Jacobs0Did Not Bat
1.Steve Jacobs30818.0018.002.67
2.Mike Ellis1.50230.673.671.09
3.Neil Clark30632.006.002.00
4.Tony Fletcher30180--6.00
5.Tom Maxson1000--0.00
6.Dave Henig3022211.009.007.33
Mike Ellis1catch
Dave Henig1catch
Steve Jacobs1catch
Paul Rogers1drop

Salix CC versus Crudwell Taverners at Sherstone Magna on 29-06-2003(35 Over Game)
Salix CC (batting first)143for 6off35overs Match Won
Crudwell Taverners104all outoff26.2overs
NoPlayerScoreHow Out
1.Dominic Spillane10Run Out
2.Mike Ellis50Caught & Bowled
3.Neil Clark1Bowled
4.Dave Henig24Not Out
5.Paul Rogers5LBW
6.Andy Bush2Bowled
7.Andy Rayner19Caught & Bowled
8.Tony Fletcher0Not Out
9.Tom Maxson0Did Not Bat
10.Steve Jacobs0Did Not Bat
1.Steve Jacobs501427.0015.002.80
2.Mike Ellis5023211.5015.004.60
3.Neil Clark3017117.0018.005.67
4.Andy Bush5013113.0030.002.60
5.Tom Maxson5026126.0030.005.20
6.Dave Henig3.20732.336.672.10
Andy Bush1catch
Tony Fletcher1catch
Steve Jacobs1catch
Andy Rayner1catch
Tony Fletcher2drops
Andy Rayner2drops
Neil Clark1drop
Mike Ellis1drop
Dave Henig1drop
Tom Maxson1drop