1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths... More quotes here.

Indoor Games 2006

Salix v MWs in wooden Spoon snoozefest Wuff accepts worst team award   Capn Ollie shows off Silverware
Lemmings and Whalers We're winners, oh yes    


The Final : Nov 26th

MWs   Salix     Whalers   Lemmings  
Stephen 8 Bison 16   Grandpa Pot 13 Shifty 6
Lars 3 Padders 19   El Presidente 11 Colin 0
Andy 6 Matthew dnb   Jiff 1 The Spud 32
Murdo 1 Chopper dnb   Paddington Bear 36 Bluey 33
Gaf 0 Nurdler dnb   Speedo 1 Wine Lemming 0
Wuff 12 CK1 dnb   Jimbo 26 Bingo 1
Extras 14 Extras 11   Extras 12 Extras 14
Total 44 Total 46 off 9 overs   Total 100 Total 86 all out

Umpires View:

First the wooden spoon, a repeat of last years.  The Slippery Swedes performance as human run machine deserted him as he was run out early and the MWs collapsed, gently, like a haemorrhoid cushion with a leaky valve being sat upon by an overweight umpire. In response, the Salix boys, looking like the before part of a Red Bull advert, took several eons to get the runs in what was really a giant snoozefest.  Wuff took the old ball marked "Loser" with grace and the lads pushed off the to the bar to let their places be taken by some slightly more energetic players  for the grand final.  Another repeat of last years.

The Whalers, sporting new nicknames especially coined for the occasion, set off fairly slowly but accumulated runs well against some tight bowling to end up on a round 100.  The Lemmings got off to a very slow start losing their previously prolific opener Colin to an LBW. In the bar later he informed me that in the last 2 years I have give him out LBW 4 or 5 times.  Whilst I do admit that last weeks one was wrong as he nicked it into his pads, my more general advice would be not to stand in front of the stumps so much as when being umpired by a middle aged man who, whist being too lazy to do any exercise, is still too vain to wear his NHS specs, it's always a danger. Anyhow, the Lemmings were always a touch behind the run rate and a couple of good overs mid match saw them needing 30 in the last 2 overs and it proved an elegant cover drive too far, and so Ollies boys trotted out winners to claim their first ever silverware.  Given that a previous winner in the dim and distant past had allegedly used said Cup to store his stash, our advice is don't walk it past any sniffer dogs but instead bung it on the mantelpiece and enjoy it for a year.

Results (after Nov 19th Games)

Team Played Won Points
Salix 3 1 1
MWs 3 0 0
Lemmings 3 2 2
Whalers 3 3 3

Session Results: Nov 19th

MWs   Salix     Lemmings   Whalers  
Lars 39 Bis 25   Shifty 1 El Presidente 15
Jon 9 Nurdler 27   Colin 27 Dazzler 25
Stephen 1 Padders 3   Ali 21 Rear Admiral 4
Tim 5 Elvis 27   Bingo 14 Straighty 12
Murdo 16 Matt 9   The Ticklet 2 Conga 16
Woof 3 Myring 3   Bluey 11 Goldilocks 15
Extras 31 Extras 11   Extras 16 Extras 10
Total 104 Total 105 off 10 0vers   Total 93 Total 95

Umpires View:

For Salix, Capn Padders continued his dismal run of luck being  run out (and run into) He has now faced only 3 balls in 3 games. In fact he was the only Salix player to give up his wicket as the Salix boys cruised past the MWs despite a large number of extras - the book showing either 24 or 31 extras.  Who knows. The Slippery Swede continued his designated role on this planet of being North Londons human run machine by being the highest run scorer for the third week running.  Keith Fletcher is laying on a chartered jet to have him out in Brisbane for Thursday where he will occupy the joint roles of opener and team lush.

In the practice for next weeks finals, the Whalers upped the ante by appearing with a fantastic set of nicknames and then, with 29 needed off 2 overs, and then 10 needed off two balls, pulling the big one out of their collective cricket boxes by whacking the 2 last balls for 6 and 6. The sound of nails being chewed to the bone was as deafening as an Iron Maiden concert held in a toliet cubicle..


Session Results: Nov 12th

Salix   Lemmings     MWs   Whalers  
Bis 25 Smithy 5   Lars 35 Brown 8
Chopper 2 The Spud 25   Murdo 0 Judd 21
Padders 01 Ali 2   Jon 3 Foote 1
CK1 18 Shifty 9   Stephen 8 Bayne 11
Elvis 0 Baker 0   Tim 8 K- something  
Myring 2 Hukins 3   Gaf 11 Gould  
Extras 2 Extras 5   Extras 17 Extras 23
Total 48 Total 49 off 9 0vers   Total 82 Total 83 in 7 overs

Umpires View:

Salix shrugged off last weeks batting collapse to collapse slightly less badly and bowled well but the Lemmings were always on the mark. Again, the Slippery Swede, a man looking more out condition that a Trabant stored in boat shed by the sea, was the days highest scorer but an extras fest saw the Whalers in no trouble.  I am however concerned that the Whalers do not have anything like as good nicknames as the other teams and shall be taking this up at Committee level

Session Results: Nov 5th

Whalers   Salix     MWs   Lemmings (9 overs)  
Stu 22 Bis 0   Stephen 6 Shifty 7
Phil 35 Elvis 7   Slippery swede 47 Colin 11
Duncs 11 Flossie 0   Jon 8 Ali 25
Rich 0 CK1 3   Murdo 16 Woody 15
Ed 4 Padders 1   Tim 6 Bingo 20
Ollie 14 Nurdler 0   Gaf 8 Bluey 11
Extras 14 Extras 13   Extras 17 Extras 20
Total 100 Total 24   Total 107 Total 108

Umpires View:

A batting collapse from Salix worthy of a Victorian maiden faced with a bare table leg, marginally beating the previous worst ever of 17 all out (Salix in 2006).  Despite overdosing on onion soup and forgetting his snouts the Slippery Swede was easily top scorer of the day yet again but to no avail as their  bowlers cranked up a horrendous 20 extras and the Lemmings came home easily.


Whalers MWs
Lemmings Salix


Following the succesfull 2005 and 2006 events, the third The Rodbert Cup 2007 will be held, confusingly, across November 2006. Our eponymous benfactor supports the cricketing charity The Primary Club (www.primaryclub.org ).


Rules : download the rules (Revised set Oct 25th, to clarify scoring ) here (Word document , choose SAVE AS)


Middlesex Cricket Academy
East End Road
N3 2TA


The entrance is at the side of the LA Fitness Club. Just around the back is the Finchley Cricket Club where we go for a drink after. There is plenty of parking.Be aware that you cannot get on or off the North Circular from the East End Road. The nearest tube is about 10 minutes walk, (1 km) – Finchley Central)

WARNING: don’t be late, the hall is rented on a per minute basis! So we always start on time

Cost: The team organisers have already paid and will collect the player fees on the date (about £7 per game per player)