1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths. More quotes here.


Official Tour Report: visit to Slovenia 15th –19th April 2004

This web page contains the fully sanitized details of how the 13 men and 1 woman of Salix CC ventured to Ljubljana, Bled and beyond to play cricket against Slovenia “A” and the Ljubljana cricket club, to visit the casino, drink Union beer, visit the As restaurant and nearly get beaten up for photographing a thong. It is heavily censored to avoid potential divorce proceedings. In particular the report pays respect to the wonderful hospitality of our hosts in Ljubljana whose first team used plenty of lubricant in the first game and then arranged for traditional English cricketing weather in the second game to give us a chance.

The arrival

Our tour arrived in two groups, the advance party on Thursday (Fletch, Steve-O, Tinker, Swordsman, Clarkster and Oily James) whereupon we checked out the boozer and the Ocarina restaurant in Bled. The later party arrived Friday: The Shilling, Cap’n Ben, Dr Dustman, Ginger, the German, QuickSilva, Matt (who surprisingly seems to have no nickname) and Victoria.

As is traditional on these occasions the whole team ventured forth in Bled and got trolleyed in preparation for the next day’s game. The accountants and others ended up in the Casino where they frittered away the club drink whip on blackjack.

Game 1

A hungover group assembled at the Hotel Golf to be met by our local player Nixta and his lovely mum whereupon we ventured to Valburga in rather dismal weather. Losing the toss in a traditional way Salix CC batted first, but not before our hosts had treated us to a lesson in Slovenian. For reasons we can only speculate, many of the Ljubljana team sported Aussie accents and Slogger and Brad taught us a few Slovenian cricket phrases that I reproduce in phonetic form:

Slovenian: English

  • Fick : Yes umpire I concur with your decision regarding the nick to the keeper
  • Fickingfick : poor shot selection on my part
  • Owthefickis thatump : LBW possibly?
  • Fickingfickme: that was close
  • Citchtheficker: A chance boys!
  • Newfickingbit lidz: Next man in

Facing some very tasty bowling the Salix lads plodded away. Men of the batting were clearly the German who ground out 38 hard won runs inc 4 sixes and Cap’n Ben with his 22 in 1’s and 2’s. The strength of the bowling can be judged from the fact that Brad got 3 for 14 off 7 and Ryan 2 for 9 off 7.

After a very nice lunch our bowling attack took the field and although we bowed tidily and quite well we never looked like hitting the target. A magnificent catch by Oily James (dutifully earning him MOM) saw their opener disappear and Quicksilva showed a good turn of speed but slowly the opposition ground us down with Captain Mark hitting 50 not out and they won by 7 wickets in 28 Overs.

Still at least it hadn’t pissed down with rain, he said speaking too soon


Game 2

Following the Saturday game there was strong resolve in the team that we needed to regroup, take it easy and stay focused for the next match. So the team boarded a minibus and shot off to the Restaurant As in Ljubljana. Now luckily I was not there so I cannot report in detail on goings on. But I may report that one team member was incapable of raising himself from his bed next day, one took some “Candid snaps” of Balkan underthings, one was threatened by a local ladies boyfriend and several more looked to be in Zombified state through vast consumption of Union beer. Big up though to Ginger who mutated the clubs gambling whip from 16 euros to 42. That’ll buy the team a few balls

In the exact opposite way the day dawned bright and clear and then it came on to piss down. Salix CC lost the toss again and fielded first (in mainly dry weather). Certainly our bowling attack had more drive and we kept the opposition down to 141 for 10 off 35 overs (we were playing 12 a side). The Shilling got 3 for 12 in 3 and Steve-O got his 100th wicket for the club pretty late on thanks to a nice catch from MediumSilva. We did manage to drop 6 catches on the way. But hey. After a truly exceptional lunch the opposition fielded in a heavy drizzle and thanks to great innings from the Clarkster and the German we got their total with two Overs to spare. Innings highlights included the by now Quicksilva hitting the biggest ever six across the main road and into a field (lost ball). Over beers by the lake afterwards it was cinfoded by the Swordsman that he would have hit his farther if he had connected..

And so game over. And back to Bled and out for a Chinese then on the Casino and then Ryanair home

Summary.

Big thanks to the Slovenian Captains Mark and Alistair and everyone for such great hospitality. Ever year the Salix team reckon that the overseas tour couldn’t be better and ever year it is. This was fabulous hospitality and great sport from great hosts: if you want to take a team overseas then go visit Slovenia. As Bradley might have said “itzgotthe fickinglotmate”


Match Stats

v Slovenia CC 16 April                
Salix CC 106 for 9 off 35 Slovenia 108 for 3 off 23.4          
                   
Ellis b 1       overs mdn runs wkts ave
James b 3                
Rayner b 38     Furness 5 0 9 0  
Shilling b 3     Jacobs 4 0 15 1 15
Shaw not out 22     fletcher 4 0 21 0  
DeSilva run out 0     Ellis 4 0 11 0  
Nannery b 6     James 5 0 13 1 13
Furness c 1     DeSilva 5 1 26 1 26
Carter c and b 6     Shilling 0.4 0 7 0  
Fletcher c 2                
Jacobs not out 0     drop james        
        drop rayner        
extras   25     catch DeSilva        
total   106     catch fletcher        
        catch james        

 

v Llubjiana CC 17 april Valburga              
Salix CC 142 for 4 in 33 overs  Llubijana CC 141 for 10 off 35 (12 playing)      
                   
Clark c 35       overs mdn runs wkts ave
Swindells c 12                
Rayner lbw 27                
Foster b 10     Jacobs 6 0 24 1 24
DeSilva not out 14     fletcher 5 0 17 0  
James not out 13     clark 5 0 31 0  
Shaw   dnb     James 4 0 11 2 6
Carter   dnb     DeSilva 4 1 19 1 19
Fletcher   dnb     Shilling 3 0 12 3 4
Nannery   dnb     Foster 4 2 1 2 1
Shilling   dnb     Swindells 4 0 24 0  
Jacobs   dnb                
        drop shaw x 2        
extras   31     drop rayner        
total   142     drop shilling x 2      
        drop fletcher        
        catch foster x 2        
        catch nannery        
        catch desilva        
        catch james        

Pre Tour Information Ljubljana:

Travel:

We fly by Ryanair Stansted to Trieste then an Avis hire car over the the border to Ljubljana. It's a 2 hour drive. We stayed at the Golf Hotel and very good it was too

Opponents: https://www.facebook.com/Ljubljana-Cricket-Club-26008569048/

What's to do? Ljubljana is a city of culture. It is home to numerous theatres, museums and galleries, and boasts one of the oldest philharmonic orchestras in the world. The beer is great too. Here's the city website http://www.ljubljana-tourism.si/. As to those who ask what's the recent history take a look here   http://www.uvi.si/10years/independence/

 


  Photos!

Training HQ in Bled Our winning score
Saturday MOM Darren with Capn Ben Oily James gets an award for the best catch ever
Slovenian Captain Mark considers taking Cap'n Ben home as a mascot Our lads train hard for the next game
big Innings from Clarkster merits a cup Slovenian Captain Alastair with Capn Ben
Sunday MOM with Ben. The Shilling practices catching in the background Steve-O celebrates 100 wickets with a beer and two saucers
Quicksilva shows us his big Six No nickname Matt peers through the drizzle on his way to a magnificent 12

 

 


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